troublesome tiredsome Thursday

today has been very hard work. behavioural problems with the little one I support has taken up a lot of the day to calm reassure and try and find compromise and reasoning behind uncalled for behaviour. nightmare. I try to be fair but when things need sorting professionally I am also able to put on my stern “I’m not impressed by your actions and you have really upset me by what you have done” voice,  I hate shouting though I just try and sort things in a matter of fact way! but my good I’m shattered drained I don’t even know the words I’m feeling all off my energy I think I threw into this day to try and come to a negotiable outcome but tomorrow requires a meeting with parents about today’s issues hoping tomorrow is a better day for little one and for the staff involved.  I do love my job I really do but just goes to show no two days are the same and shows the up and down roller coaster of life that sometimes we are expected to adapt to but sometimes it’s not easy. tonight there’s questions flying round my head, is it my me that’s upset his routine and caused him to behaviour irrationality am I not disciplining enough,  am I doing the right thing, should I change what I am doing, what can I do differently.  be mind will be in overdrive with these questions going rides a bipolar mind never rests it’s always active even during sleep the mind is still rationalising and trying to make sense of the trillions of unanswered messages going on in there no wonder life is a daily struggle for us bipolar suffers. well as they say onwards and upwards tomorrow is a brand new day with new horizons!

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