Who am I part 2

Who is the real me?
I’m questioning myself a lot recently about who I really am?
Bipolar triggers and takes over our thoughts and makes us think some powerful things,
Sometimes good sometimes bad,
Perhaps I am just barking mad,
I put on my “everything ok” mask when out in public guess it makes them feel glad ?
How would they feel if they knew the battles that people not only with bipolar but other mental health problems have to face everyday?
Every minute,

Every second,

Every millisecond 

From the moment our eyes open on a morning and we know it’s a new day,
But will it be a good day or will it be bad,

Our daily activities may be enjoyable but our head and thoughts not in the right place to properly appreciate them. 
I want to be free 

to run and scream 

to shine ad beam 

I want to be free 

to sing and dance 

to foll in deep trance 

I want to be free 

to laugh and cry 

to crawl and fly 

I want to be free 

to come and go 

to love and grow 

I want to be free 

to say yeah or no

to roll in hay

I want to be free 

to give and take 

to make a mistake 

I want to be free 

to be me

I think me is a pretty good version of me! 

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Who is the real me? Poem 

I have not wrote or thought about doing a poem for a while but tonight I’ve had a bit of time of reflection and imaginative thinking so I decided to write a poem, parts of the poem rhyme and parts of the rhyme don’t but I’ve done this on purpose to emphasis on my current thoughts and feelings right now. I want to make the point that my grammar etc may not be good or there may be spelling errors but on my blogs I write what I think At that moment and upload it as if it’s not done at thAt moment the poem or the blog is forgotten about. 

So here’s today’s poem

I want to be free 

to run and scream 

to shine ad beam 

I want to be free 

to sing and dance 

to foll in deep trance 

I want to be free 

to laugh and cry 

to crawl and fly 

I want to be free 

to come and go 

to love and grow 

I want to be free 

to say yey or ney 

to roll in hey 

I want to be free 

to give and take 

to make a mistake 

I want to be free 

to be me

Fudge 

Well Sunday was very busy mam and dad came to plant trees in the garden and my grandparents came to have coffee and look at the garden and Nanna made us a coffee cake which was lovely 😊, we then went over to visit my boyfriends parents for Sunday dinner and met the new pet in the family, a pet rabbit called fudge. Fudge is adorable. We all went for a lovely walk and we stayed for a sandwich at tea time. It was a lovely day. 

Today has been great so far my boyfriends on holiday this week which is fresh cos I’ve been off the six weeks but he’s been working. So we’ve had a relaxing morning we went to get bedding plants for the flower beds in the bottom section of the garden and will be planting these shortly and that’s the garden all complete so pleased with how the gardens turning out 😊. I’m feeling really happy at the minute and things are going well. But it’s always on the back of my mind that will I plummet into a depression again as things are too good to be true? Or should i embrace and enjoy everything what’s happening a the moment?  

 

Amazing weekend times 

today myself and my boyfriend went to the garden centre with my parents to get the remaining plants and trees for our garden. And then my boyfriend and I spent the afternoon getting the weeds out of the borders and flower beds and i removed and re planted the plants that will need a bigger growing space in spring. So happy with how our garden is coming together. We have a new bbq coming next week too hoping that the weather improves for the bank holiday weekend so we can use it if not indoor party will be just as good. Now enjoying a snugly evening watching lion king drinking martini and eating m and Ms! Lovely cosy night! Tomorrow morning mam and dad are coming to help us plant the heavier shrubs in the garden. Then I’m looking forward to seeing the future in laws for sudsy lunch at there house haven’t seen them for few weeks so it will be nice to catch up, but it’s scary how quickly the summer holidays are coming to a end and I will soon have to do some lesson planning! Hmm maybe not just yet! 😕 hope everyone is having a good weekend. We are in the middle of a thunderstorm here, I’m not a scaredy cat in the thunder I quite like it as it doesn’t happen that much here but we sure get our fair share of rain! Take care all and enjoy your weekend whatever you have planned 😀 x

Thursday the third day?! No! film morning with my cousin and pooch times 

this morning my cousin came over for coffee and we watched the Shaun the sheep movie which is brilliant never laughed so much in a while. It’s unbelievable how many hours must go in to making all the plaster figure fantastic talent. Then this afternoon I picked Nellie up from Mams and dads as I’ve decided I leaned her for a stop over. I’ve been out for two lovely walks with her and been playing with her throwing her balls etc. she always puts a smile on my face, she gets spoilt rotten. Don’t get to spend much time with her with having my own house now and she’s with mam and dad so I make the most of it when I see her. Feeling ridiculously tired the last few hours, don’t get how some days I feel great and then the next day sluggish. I have been on the go a lot today though so that’s maybe why I don’t know. Don’t think I will ever fully understand bipolar. 

Monday 1 day Tuesday 2 day Wednesday the what day?!

the above saying reminds me of Joey from friends when he counts the days on his fingers. Never too old to appreciate friends still love it to this day. Today’s been a great day got up early did an hours Zumba exercise watching Zumba videos on YouTube and dancing along in the lounge really enjoyed it. I then finished off one of my creative colouring pictures. Decided to go and pay Nanna and grandad a visit at lunch time and stayed with them all afternoon 😊. Love my grandparents so much they mean more than words can express. Been worried about my Nanna lately as she has recently had a bad fall and broke some of her ribs and it’s made her really out of sorts and it takes a lot to stop my Nanna from being busy or complain but she’s been saying how much pain she’s in and therefore it must be terrible. She always puts herself before anyone else but sow times she’s the one who needs some Tlc and steps if quality time today with both my grandparents will of meant a lot to them. I found a free online speech therapy course this afternoon which was amazing loads of useful facts, videos real life case studies and research and resources. Along wit activities to test your knowledge and understanding along the way. And even a certificate at the end! Brilliant! Definitely one to add to the portfolio and CV. Have had a lovely night with my boyfriend making tea together and enjoying watching the great British bake off together! Won’t be long until bed time now. Looking forward to tomorrow morning my cousin is coming over for coffee and a catch up so that will be nice then I’m picking Nellie up to have overnight as I miss taking her for walks and spending time with her so that will be lovely and she’ll get spoilt rotten as usual. Things are going pretty well at the minute feeling quite positive and content at the moment. Long may it last, hope you readers out there we doing okay. If anyone needs any advice or anything please feel free to leave a comment and I will try and help. 

Link to friends Joey counting the days: