Well today was my sickness review at work just to discuss how I had been doing since returning to work and what will happen come September. I was honest and told them I was struggling even with 20.5 but it is manageable and I’m proud of myself of maintaining that for several weeks even if it is exhausting and mentally draining for me at the moment. Obviously the ear problems and the changing of my meds over the last few weeks hasn’t helped my mood either. But my manager said my work performance is still outstanding the children’s progress is evident from the work that I’m doing and that work wise I’m doing great. So this gave me a bit of confidence and belief that I am valued and I am doing a good job. I have made the decision to drop my full time correct to part time 20.5 hours and put in additional hour time sheets when I feel I can do more work. Taking the leap from 20.5 to working 30 come September would have been detrimental to my mental and physic health and I honestly don’t think o could have managed more than 2 full days without plumating this way I can do my 20.5 and have the flexibility of working more if I want and if I don’t want to there’s no pressure either. I am truly grateful to have such a supportive manager and not only is shelter manager but she’s be or a great friend and a counsellor in times of need and always makes time during her hectic day to make sure all of her employees are okay! Without a model like that retiring to work would of been almost impossible. I am now looking back at my time of returning to work after spring break until now and realising how far I have come so far on my recovery journey yes I may not be well at the moment and I still need a lot of support but I made it back to work, my boyfriend and I have saved the money we need to do our garden which is fantastic and with me returning to work we can afford the odd treat now and again which is fab aswell😊, my manager told me this today, “you’re like a star you shine so bright and there is so many children here that love you so much for everything you do, sometimes you don’t realise how much of an impact you are having on there lives but you are and they will one day in there future realise how lucky they were to have that extra support. So be proud of what you do and keep shining.”
This made me cry a lot but tears of joy and all I could do was say thank you and ask for a hug! Lol!
Today has been a good day! I have got a glimmer of self believe confidence and pride that seems to have been hidden deep away for a long time but beginning to surface just a tad again!