What’s bipolar and what’s me?
It’s quite complicated wouldn’t you agree?
It seems like everything I do is now
Somehow, connected to my bipolar diagnosis.
If I’m happy, I could be manic,
If I’m sad, it’s because I’m depressed.
I don’t want to have to have the linger thought in my head of every time that I have an emotion, every time that I get angry at somebody, or I’m tearful, it’s because of my diagnosis.
Some of my feelings belong to me, the real me and I can justify these feelings, they are mine, they are my own.
People ask me everyday how I am and one of the usual responses is, “I’m fine thanks how are you?”
I wonder how many people out there feel like saying, you know what I’m not fine,
I’m having a terrible time,
This this and this is happening,
Would the person who had asked be shocked or would they stand and listen and try and offer some help?
We are all good at putting on a brave face or hiding behind our imaginary bipolar mask!
No one can see the diagnosis I have but the people I choose to tell do know and they know what to expect and they know how to help me.
I would if half of my colleagues knew would they act different,
Would I be talked about behind ones back,
Would I be excluded from nights out as “they didn’t think I could handle it”
Would I be missed from being involved in important events incase the pressure got too much?
I do not want to be treat any differently bipolar is the illness/ diagnosis that I have, but the person I am is the person I will always strive to be!