Sleepless nights

and here goes the sleepness nights again. I have been doing alright with sleep over last few days with help of prescribed sleeping tablets alternate nights. Was told to do alternate nights for a few weeks to see how I got on. On the nights without sleeping tablets I don’t sleep, even if I stay up late, I feel shattered, go to bed, then it’s a though someone flicks and switch and boom in wide away. For hours on end tossing and turning in bed, staring at the walls and the ceiling. I listen to calming music or sometimes read but nothing makes a difference. Then obviously during the day time I’m shattered. Father’s Day won’t be the same this year as mam and dad have had to go to Spain to help support a family friend in need as she’s just lost her husband and they taking her car from England to Spain, quite a journey. So they not back for a few days hence me looking after Nellie dog. I put his Father’s Day Card in the suitcase and he will get his present when he returns. I will however be seeing my grandad my Mams dad today and I always get him a grandad Father’s Day present. He’s the best grandad ever. I have a busy day ahead, up early to walk dog. Give my cousin breakfast. Tidy house. Pick Mams friend up for coffee then drop her off again. Nanna and grandads house visit, home to do ironing and see my boyfriend after he’s been away all weekend. Then go visit his parents for tea. Come home and do planning and resources for work! And relax! But to be honest I’m better when I have structured days, a plan and some kind of routine I like organised things and to know what I’m doing and when. Think that’s a strong bipolar trait. Anyhow I found this poem in a book I was reading the other day and it pretty much sums up tonight’s current state of affairs. It pretty much sucks when you want to, but can’t sleep! Brain please switch off and bloody well relax!!!
Everyone is sleeping 

I’m the only one who is awake

Struggling to sleep every night

Because thoughts floods in my mind

Remembering the things i don’t want to remember

Keeps my eyes open wide


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