Struggling 

Today has hit a whole new level of shit! I cannot take much more bad news and pain! On a hearing retest it was confirmed no hearing in right ear and now left ear has dropped loads more since two weeks ago. Yet they couldn’t explain to me why, and all they could say was we are really concerned about this, your balance is terrible, the pain is terrible, but we don’t know what’s causing it, and we might now EVER know, my next appointment is 1st July with consultant and by God they better have answers and also I better not have further deterioration. I’m so dizzy all the time I feel sick I’m not eating much my head feels like it’s going to explode I’m crying all the time, I’ve had enough! Yet somehow I am manage to look after my house and my boyfriend as normal go to work which I don’t feel like doing but when I’m there it takes my mind briefly off my own problems and focus on helping others which is what I live for! I have to question have I done something horrifically wrong in my life to deserve this bombardment of agony and hell , well nothing seems to spring to mind!! I wouldn’t wish these issues on anyone and perhaps I’m being mega self involved and feeling ridiculously sorry for myself I don’t know, it’s a natural response or am I taking it to the extreme, I just don’t have answers to ongoing questions! 😓 

 

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