Today has been a very trying and testing day.
My ear pain got to the beyond unbearable point and it had beaten me, I couldn’t take anymore I saw urgent care who then rang hospital and raised there concerns that something should have been done about this pain before now. I finally got seen at the hospital this afternoon and I saw a female doctor who did several tests on my ears and my balance and also my jaw.
As it turns out not only do I have permanent damage to my eardrum and loss of hearing I have a problem with the inner bone on my ear that connects to my jaw bone. My jaw bone has become out of line and is adding to the ear pain. So the doctor rang my dentist to get an appointment asap to correct this! So this lovely procedure will take place tomorrow lunchtime! Dreading it but if it gives me some relief from the pain I have it will be worth it.
My balance is rubbish cos of the pain in my ear so I’m walking like I’m drunk and feel dizzy constantly. It’s made u emotions and mood go into electric overload and my mind doesn’t know whether to smile and carry on or cry beyond control. Today I feel I have cried enough tears to fill a river! I literally cannot put into words how severe the pain is that I’m facing! Hoping that the newly prescribed painkillers start working some magic and that perhaps tonight I might get a good nights sleep. Despite what’s going on with my ears I’m somehow managing to do a few hours at work each day and I literally don’t know how as I’m in so much pain but perhaps work gives me a glimmer of happiness and hope and the children always manage to cheer me up! Today’s funniest response to the question what would you like to be when you grow up?
To which a little girl responded “I want to be you!”
Although I’m touched by this I had some time explain what I meant like a job or a occupation very difficult to explain to a 6 year old why different people have different jobs, other than its the way the world works?
I don’t know who was more confused in the end the child or me but it was an interesting discussion.
So I guess even in the darkest of days there’s still a glimmer of light that shines through. Like when the sky goes pitch black but there’s one star that brightens up the sky!
Sometimes it’s hard to stay positive and upbeat and today has definitely been one of my down days.