today I got to spend a few great hours with my mam. We went shopping together and she kindly treated me to a few new tops we had a lot of giggles choosing Father’s Day cards for my dad, her dad/my grandad. But I was also a little sad, I really really miss my mam she’s always been like my bestfriend and now I have my own house I don’t get to see her half as much as I should, it’s hard going from seeing someone you love and live with everyday to seeing each other maybe once a week. But now mam is due to start a new job which has more realistic hours, no night shifts and no working till daft o clock or weekends, I can see her much more often, which will be awesome.
I also got to spend sometime with my great great uncle, I love spending time with him. Although he is getting very frail and has had a few falls recently, he certainly still has all his mental capacity. He can remember things from years ago in great details I think he has a photographic memory, he can tell you the date and time and year when something in particular may have happened. His stories of being in the RAF and stories of growing up with my grandad bring some smiles up my face. He’s my grandad a brother, my dads dad’s brother! If that makes sense? Sadly I lost my grandma years ago when I was only very young but I still remember her, my grandad died 10 years ago this September and I loved/ still love him dearly! He died too young from something that could have been prevented if the paramedics had got there just a few minutes earlier. I also remember standing at the podium at his funeral and reciting one of my favourite poems that I had only shared with him like a little secret. I hope it meant a lot to him as it did too me. I regret that he will never be able to be there in person to meet the one person who is lucky enough to be my sole mate, and that one day I will marry this man. I hope he approves of my decision. I wish he could of seen how hard we have both worked up achieve our beautiful first home together. Today has made me reflect on many thoughts and feelings and has proved to me that even when sad things happen, that we don’t forget them but we learn to cope and adapt our lives and perhaps prove to ourselves that we are strong and have the courage to keep walking slowly onwards on the stepping stones of life. I don’t think we ever forget our past, but I think we start to learn from it!
I am eternally gratef for the people that I have in my life or have impacted my life even in the smallest way. The loved ones I have lost will never be forgotten and never replaced. I just hope that they can see that recently I have hit rock bottom, and I fell deeply down the cracks of the stepping stones, into the murky sludgy water underneath. But I have now reached the surface of the water, picked myself up and I’m starting to slowly make my way positively over the stepping stones in my life once more! 😄💓
Also I would like to send my love and thoughts of sympathy to my bestfriend who has just lost her uncle, thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.
To all the lovely people in my life and the ones I’m yet to meet thank you ❤️