Well this morning was not as stressful as I thought it could of been.
My auntie decided to stay in today which meant I didn’t have to go and pick Ava up.
So I was able to take Nellie for a long walk before I took her home to my parents. I have got used to having her around and her not being there tonight it will be very weird.
I was still wide awake at 3am this morning and I’m getting really fed up of it, I am trying all the tips I know to help sleep and nothing is working.
I feel like a record stuck going over the same concerns daily but it’s just making me feel very run down and I hate it! My concentration is beginning to be affected at work, so I’m trying to drink lots of water to keep my energy up. But today has been my worst day for lack of energy and exhausts room by far. I have no desire to go home and cook tea even though I will force myself to do it. So that my boyfriend will enjoy coming in from work and his tea will be ready waiting for him! And it does make me happy when he’s happy, but I think I try and put on a brave face some times when all I really want to do is say no to everything and giving in! I am becoming more and more emotional each day, sometimes it’s on the way to work and I just start crying and have no real explanation why,
Sometimes it’s when i have a shower but maybe this is because I found showering and personal care really difficult when I had my severe depression episode and somewhere in my head my thoughts take me back to that place and I get upset?
All I know is at the moment I’m feeling incredibly fed up and feel like I need either a kick up the backside or some kind of injection of energy to brighten and liven me up!
I apologise for winging just thought I would get them feelings off my chest!