Another sleepless night so far

Another sleepless night As I lay in my bed tucked up tight

I was hoping I would sleep soundly and safely tonight,

I feel so tired, but my mind is saying, “you must be joking right,”

It’s like my head it’s the pillow ready to sleep 

And my mind thinks quick wake up now,

We will come her awake someway some how,

I’m beginning to wish I knew the trick of how I can get over this.

Ever since my diagnosis and starting to take mood stablished along with the antidepressants I feel I can’t sleep.

And without much sleep I’m finding it difficult during the day to function,

Maybe something needs to be put into motion?

I’ve tried reading, I’ve tried writing, I ensure that the bedroom is pitch black, I’ve tried listening to calming music, but nothing seems to work.

If I can help it I would rather not be put on sleeping pills,

As I think the meds I’m already on can make me drowsy some days,

I have an appointment with my psychiatrist soon so I will talk about my ongoing sleep deprivation,

I just don’t want myself starting slipping into the black hole of depression as at the moment things are going reasonable well,

But there’s still negatives thoughts in my mind that I will never be able to hide,

I guess it’s going to be something I’m going to have to except as part of my daily bipolar ride!

It’s easy for people to say the past is in the past,

There right it is,

But just because it’s in the past doesn’t mean it cannot after the way we are feeling in the here and now,

Life events can still linger in the depths of our mind,

And will continue to remain forever entwined.

But I am now learning from these experiences rather than dwelling in the negatives things and the hurt and pain,

I try to remind myself how far I have come,

And I will no longer be put down by anyone,

The people who hurt me think they’ve won the fight,

But they haven’t at all its me that’s winning outright!

Since the pain they have caused me,

I’ve moved on in life,

I’ve found my soulmate and my bestfriend,

And I’ll know we will be with each other till the very end.

I sometimes wonder where might the boys who hurt me be,

I bet there not living there life like me,

There probably have continued on the root they know,

Causing pain physically and emotionally to others,

Living in street full of drugs,

And probably a load of different thugs,

They probably still not working, they never did,

And they had no intention of ever doing so,

They’re too content on the dole.

I feel this is a major problem in today’s society why should working people have to pay for others who have no intentions of working or bettering themselves,

When there’s other needy soles desperate for help,

I would like to think my tax goes to people who genuinely need it because of a disability or because they are career or because they have an illness preventing them from working or indeed a mental illness,

But to pay my tax to people who are capable of working and have no incapacity, they are just bond idle,

Really angers me,

And I bet there’s others that complete agree! 

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